in situations and responses you come to understand your self, and because moments like those pass too quickly for us to learn, ie decided to write it down:
1. being mad over Ot for anything consumes my emotions and totally wrecks my mood. i need to avoid it whenever possible (not get upset on little stuff, or trivial nos).
2. i am type A in character definition.
just last week, i went with my friend aisha to the mall, to buy some stuff for my apartment… she couldn’t stop talking about our other friend , bdoor, apartment… she was just going on and on, not only her apartment, she even talks about her bags, dresses, shoes, her children’s clothes.. i know bdoor wasn’t thatmuch of a dresser before she got married… but why do i have to suffer and compete with her, she married a rich guy. i can not have a say in it.
aisha on the other hand is locked in envy…. i cant deny i wish i can have some of what bdoor is having, but it isn’t possible with my current salary.. or my husband’s for that matter.
two days ago, i did major home shopping with my brother’s wife, we took alot of items from ikea/farwaneya/and midas. i’m so relieved i did this major buy. even though im completely broke right now, but i know this means easier apartment upgrade… later on i will be able to buy accessories and make alot of things beautiful. on our own budget, and our own taste, one thing i’m dreading, my brothers wife rubbing it in how she has her taste in my own apartment 😦
this week at work was a course about fast achievement, it confirmed to me without a doubt how far drifting i am from work. not only do i not miss work, i even don’t care if i dont submit any papers any more… it’s a cry for help… a cry for job change.
i was supposed to take care of two of my sister’s kids this week, and God knows how excited i was to have them, Ot refused….. he really is not ready for being a parent at all.. even when we are having sex now, he insists on wearing a condom.
this is hurting me alot, but im forced to be patient.
next week, God willing, we are going 3omra… i will be very close to God then.