L.O.V.E. How Much is ToOoO Much
I had an early shift in the magazine today, but what I did was drop my bag in the desk (a sign of my existence) and come back home for more sleep. It’s not that I didn’t get enough of sleep, I had plenty.
I dreamt of a murder, me being the murderer, I killed someone just because of ..(can’t remember the reason, but it had to do with ‘him-her’ bothering my Ot) I kept refusing to believe the dream, trying to make it a dream, wake up… and realize it’s still there, in and out of sleep until the phone rang… and it became just a figment. I didn’t need someone to translate this dream for me, it simply said: I’d kill for my husband!
Lately, all I’ve been feeling is love, too much love, too much missing, any sudden alteration or distancing from OT would sound an alarm loud and clear. In my heart of hearts, I believe this is where all women stop… and start to detach from their other half, I keep reinventing my self to live a life long honey moon. So far, it’s working… but why do I have to work so hard?………..or maybe the better question is, why am I working on it alone?
Ot keeps telling me he feels guilt, that there are times he fails me at things… its true, he fails to reply as soon as I call on him, he fails to fix his sleeping hours so we can have some quality us time… and he fails to indulge me as much as I need.
Finance wise, I’m broke as a thin stick, I gave up all my money for a room to my brother’s in law daughter, they just moved (After 5 kids and a pregnancy) to a flat of their own. Close to mine, and wanted to help them out, it’s a beautiful pinkish girly room, she flipped over it.
But I’m flipping coins now. And God help me for thirty days to come.
oh.. and i just picked up my bag… halliloua!!