The marriage quarrel

by vyyvaa

my marriage is not perfect. i do not lead a perfect life, and both me and my husband have flaws and differences.

there are moments that i can bet my own life nothing can ever make me mad at Ot. nothing can sadden me, that Ot is incapable of making me unhappy or annoying me. but then comes those differences, flaws, misunderstandings…. and mistakes.

men, and i guess especially in Kuwait, are the pioneers in procrastination, what ever it is i want him to do today, he can delay it indefinitely. i can understand Ot still doesnt feel how important that he brings the plumper to fix my bathroom (i can use his until the problem gets fixed). i can even wait on that car problem he has, and let him go to garage and insurance company on his own. but to delay a medical appointment for himself. HIS HEALTH!, to pass out an education opportunity!, and lay low religious activities! that is nothing i can tolerate.

ive tried talking, 7anna never works, i’ve tried sweet talking, reasoning, quotable talking, referenced talking, angry talking… enough of that, as it didnt work

i cant use actions, i cant go to the dr myself and diagnose his problems, i cant go to the mosque for him, he has been a commited prayer for a long long time, the set back is definitely lack of religious closeness. i cant go to school for him.. i cant take his car to the garage and sign my name instead of his…

but i will be beside him when he goes to the dr,
i will pray for him that he stayed ever connected to God
i will help him in his homeworks and understanding the topics
i will give him my car when his is in the garage…

but he has to start to do it all… and thats how the marriage quarrel found its trigger…

nstead of the traditional approach, i’ve decided to go on the silent treatment; i slept on the couch, went early to work, and avoided as much as possible any contact with him. i kept taking care of him, food and all… but no talk. no sex… and i started reading sorat al baqara on those two days of silence.. the apartment was screaming of emptiness… i can hear him when he breathes… and he can hear me clicking on my laptop…

he didnt try to talk to me, he didnt even give me the good morning kiss… i felt hurt, and missed him alot, but there was no place for weakness, this is done in his favor..

the italian hotel called to confirm, and i was like: will we still be on a quarrel… ? i still booked it.

it took 43 hours for this silence to crash… he came to me from outside, and closed my laptop, and told me: i cant do this any more, i cant pretend to be strong, i miss u, i dont like this, i dont like our bed empty, i dont like running away to family, i cant even focus in work… please forgive me

as much as i missed him, i still didnt want to give in before i knew 100% he knows what he is apologizing for….

i asked him if he knew..he said: i went to the dr this morning, took an appointment for tomorrow, i also took the car to the garage… i promise u i won’t miss out on prayer any more… and i will register the course.

what if u didnt do that all tomorrow ?? do u know what i will do Ot! i wil sleep not on the couch but under it! just so u know how much hurt i feel by ur actions…

he kept confirming to me, he will do what he has to do..

i may have won this silent treatment quarrel…. but the result is all to his favor, his health, his education… and his car.