I’ve just had this very formal 6 minute conversation from who used to be my best best best friend. There was no ease to it, no flow, and i had to dig up what happened to me since the last time we talked (5 months or so). now that I’ve just hung up, i keep wondering why have we drifted apart? God knows from sob7eyti i was calling her, and since that day i was the one picking the phone and calling her, sms, asking her to go out with me. i’ve promised my self before marriage that i would not do what many other friends did when they got married, in drifting and losing the grib of a tight relationship. i so did with my family, there was surely something that had to be the scapegoat in my new status, and i chose that to be work. no regrets whatsoever.
so why if i made all that effort, why did she distance herself from me? why is it that i find my self sms-ing her instead of calling her, that i feel she might be to busy to answer (after the ten times or so that i tried to call and she didnt pick up) we’ve had candid moments after marriage, we sat in cafes, i made her feel at ease, i never even mentioned my husband, or went on and on about how my marriage life is…. no, the respect of our female-female relationship, the high and low subjects we spoke of were first and last, and everthing. yet, she chose to distance herself!
now i recieved this phone call, just after saying hi and hello she tells me: u seem busy i’ll call u another time.
al7een ana ma sadat u call me, tgolen ana busy? la 6ab3an.. fathya… as a matter of fact, i just had an operation on thursday (operative hysteroscopy to remove two polyps attached to my uterus) and im havin ths whole week off work. so yeah, im free…i remember we discussed how i wish to go to italy, and the finances of my husband did not allow it, when i told her we did go to italy, she said: walla masheti rayich vyyvaa, sij eradtich qaweya, itha ba’3aiti shay saweti.. t3ajbeni”………………………….. i don’t know how i swallowed those words, i remember trying to squeeze an irrelevent sentance right after she said this, but she kept going on.. her tone of voice was that of sarcasm or unfriendly.
she thinks my husband is sekkana murta! it’s not the first time that someone has thought so of my husband, but for it to come from who some not so long ago used to be my best best best best friend…..
why do people assume my husband is so? if i wanna put my husband down on paper, he would go like this
1. the kindest.
3. has a jealousy of a very bedouin man
those people who say that, they dont know about those little fights we have, we have it when i raise my voice unknwingly, or when i use an order language, or when he forgets to take out the trash, …. but what leads them to believe sekkana murta should suggest the opposite: i don’t let my man sleep angry at me. even if it was his fault, even if i could have waited more… never ever sleep mad at me.
so because Ot is a happy man, because we go out together, because we managed to go to italy dispite his financial difficulties, because i can have the time to see my friends and family, talk on the phone for as much as who ever on the other line needs…. that makes Ot SEKKANA MURTA?
they think OT because i’m his first girl, i can consider him my 3ayeena and form him the way i like… well, i’ve got news to those people
he doesnt want to be anyone except the man that he is, and if he takes care of me and makes me happy, then that’s what a man should be, if i take care of him and i make him happy, then that’s what marriage is.