Within the cycle

by vyyvaa

this must be my longest cycle… even though it has not exceeded the period i’m familiar with… but the fact i’ve done so much in it, fertility-wise, makes one wanna know the end so bad..

am i gonna be pregnant?

or am i gonna have another chance at being pregnant?

i don’t look any more at period as a sign of failure, this is due to the hormone tests i’ve done, progesterone test, the 21st day test, showed a value of 25, its great for me, since the first one i did two cycles ago was 3! the range is between 8-85.

i also did an ovulation ultra-sound follow up sessions, they were three, the ovium/egg was size 12, 16, and 18.. the optimum size is 18-20, with that it should rupture and fertilization can occur.

the fertility tests showed a minor increase in prolactin value, i am currently taking pills to reduce it, its a 36 days course.. i finished 26. prolcatin should only increase when im pregnant and about to breast-feed. other wise, it prevents pregnancy from happening.. thats why women who breast-feed have a natural contraception.

having said all of the above… and add to that the hysteroscopy, i think i’m on fertitlity treatment.. without even being aware of it.

Ot agreed to seriously start on making a baby, and every other day we’re having sex, i remember at the time of my supposed ovulation he wasnt in the mood, i cried like hell begging him to have sex ๐Ÿ™‚ yet he didnt feel like it, then we hugged… and eventually he got the mood in.

this morning counts as my 30th day of my cycle, my cycle is usually 30-34 days… the past few days, my older sister has been asking me if i feel any symptoms, or if i took a pregnancy test. i didn’t… this month, i’m being strong, i guess its a good feeling, when you don’t know if you are pregnant… at least, there still exists a chance that you are… where if i did the test now, i might kill my hope.

that doesnt mean i didnt stop at pharmacies and begged the car to walk away… i even told ot this morning to bring me a home pregnancy test, but he told me to wait…he also asked me, what would you do if you were really pregnant?

me ! pregnant !!!!!! ?? wowwwwwww…. i don’t know, i’ll have the biggest smile on every feature i have, my lips, my eyes, .. do you want me to tell my mom, or you want to tell her.. no no … we have to tell her in person.. what about ur mom ?? should we tell her together.. or u do it? or i do it!!! would she be so happy she would cry ? !! my mom would be… i know that.. she is traveling now.. i bet if i am.. she will come back instantly…. oh God.. if im pregnant, i’ll pray thank you prayers… i’ll start buying those books i couldnt buy, maternity books… i’ll refurnish the third room….. oh Ot if im pregnant… u’re gonna have to accept the fact im gonna get fat and love it……………. i don’t know how will i take the news, usually when im super duper happy, i jump… this time i cant…. Ot tells me thats going to be his biggest gift…. and that i shouldnt ask for another gift ever…. i really don’t mind… just let me have it!!

oh… how i want to know so badly….