40 somethings for 40 days

by vyyvaa

it actually been 60 days now… we reached several developmental milestones with hajar.. and im really bothered by my lack of updating for the blog 😦

1. 2 hours of non-cut sleep is a privilige

2. thought of never being able to be a couple with ot killed me… never being able to go to the cinema… have dinners out.. traveling whenever we like.. sleeping mid day…there is a person depending on us.. a responsibility.

3. i never thought the pain and ache of my body will go away.. until 20 days post partum

4. there are two types of babies: the quiet type, and the constant cry type… hajar was the second 🙂

5. i thought post partum depression was a trend westerners invented…. then i collapse and cry several times enough to convince me i actually had it for a few days.

6. love was not the appropriate word i was ready to give to hajar , not until 30 days passed of us knowing each other.

7. it was amazing how only a slight movement she makes in her bed would wake me up!

8. all the wordrobe i bought, not a single pink… she sure looked great on the C.I.A onsie! (Cries, Irritates, Annoys)

9. breast feeding was my fight… i wanted to do it, mom thought i didnt have enough milk and forced me to introduce artificial.

10. i shared 30 days of my 40 days with my sister, who had a baby boy… the comparision was unbelievable..

11. my sisters boy smiled first…. gained more weight.. and was the quiet type.

12.. but he was 10 days older!

13. a visiting aunt of mine put kohl in the morning on hajar eyes… and me and Ot spent the evenings taking it off…:)

14. she said it removed dirt, and lengthens her eyelashes….

15. she does have long eyelashes…

16. Ot kept to his promise of every day visiting me…

17. he did skip a day or two.. but then i wasnt always in perfect shape..

18. mom thought him coming that often was a sign i would leave long before my 40 days are over..

19..she was right, i left on the 37th..

20. mom was super mom with me… i did however spare her the agony of sleepless nights..

21… i didnt want to, but had to…. introduce the pacifier.

22. which caused me emotional collapse.. but she was extremely noisy and fussy and crying all the time, i almost was certain i was gonna hate her if she didnt become quiet..

23. and i wasnt sure my family would like her if all they heard was crying.

24. i attended to all her needs..which was something i was proud about..

25. being able to understand my baby: amazing feeling.

26. her crying reasons: want milk, want burb, want diaper change, bowel movement, want sleep, want swaddle, dont want swaddle.

26. i had to sleep when she sleeps..which almost always during day time..

27. night time was the annoying sleep: 5 minute nap then cry, ten minute nap then cry. 15 minute nap .. then…. cry

28. my total pregnancy gain: 18 kilos,

29. i lost 10 during birth alone.

30. i still got 8 to go

31. surprisingly though, the jeans that used to fit up until the 9th month, doesnt fit me any more!

32. its like my waist has expanded from birth.

33. am i ever going back to my original weight?!!

34. gwwn stephani.. gwen stephani… gwen stephani …..

35. i dont miss work at alllll

36. in fact, i am finally seriously thinking of leaving the job.

37. a better job, better salary, fresh new start!!

38.  in a few weeks things will clear up on the new job, if yes.. or no

39. my immediate reaction up until 20 days post partum: how could women wanna have another baby??!!

40. but then the body does what it does best: heal…. and i feel its not that bad at all….

next post should be more about hajar persona.