40 somethings for 40 days
it actually been 60 days now… we reached several developmental milestones with hajar.. and im really bothered by my lack of updating for the blog 😦
1. 2 hours of non-cut sleep is a privilige
2. thought of never being able to be a couple with ot killed me… never being able to go to the cinema… have dinners out.. traveling whenever we like.. sleeping mid day…there is a person depending on us.. a responsibility.
3. i never thought the pain and ache of my body will go away.. until 20 days post partum
4. there are two types of babies: the quiet type, and the constant cry type… hajar was the second 🙂
5. i thought post partum depression was a trend westerners invented…. then i collapse and cry several times enough to convince me i actually had it for a few days.
6. love was not the appropriate word i was ready to give to hajar , not until 30 days passed of us knowing each other.
7. it was amazing how only a slight movement she makes in her bed would wake me up!
8. all the wordrobe i bought, not a single pink… she sure looked great on the C.I.A onsie! (Cries, Irritates, Annoys)
9. breast feeding was my fight… i wanted to do it, mom thought i didnt have enough milk and forced me to introduce artificial.
10. i shared 30 days of my 40 days with my sister, who had a baby boy… the comparision was unbelievable..
11. my sisters boy smiled first…. gained more weight.. and was the quiet type.
12.. but he was 10 days older!
13. a visiting aunt of mine put kohl in the morning on hajar eyes… and me and Ot spent the evenings taking it off…:)
14. she said it removed dirt, and lengthens her eyelashes….
15. she does have long eyelashes…
16. Ot kept to his promise of every day visiting me…
17. he did skip a day or two.. but then i wasnt always in perfect shape..
18. mom thought him coming that often was a sign i would leave long before my 40 days are over..
19..she was right, i left on the 37th..
20. mom was super mom with me… i did however spare her the agony of sleepless nights..
21… i didnt want to, but had to…. introduce the pacifier.
22. which caused me emotional collapse.. but she was extremely noisy and fussy and crying all the time, i almost was certain i was gonna hate her if she didnt become quiet..
23. and i wasnt sure my family would like her if all they heard was crying.
24. i attended to all her needs..which was something i was proud about..
25. being able to understand my baby: amazing feeling.
26. her crying reasons: want milk, want burb, want diaper change, bowel movement, want sleep, want swaddle, dont want swaddle.
26. i had to sleep when she sleeps..which almost always during day time..
27. night time was the annoying sleep: 5 minute nap then cry, ten minute nap then cry. 15 minute nap .. then…. cry
28. my total pregnancy gain: 18 kilos,
29. i lost 10 during birth alone.
30. i still got 8 to go
31. surprisingly though, the jeans that used to fit up until the 9th month, doesnt fit me any more!
32. its like my waist has expanded from birth.
33. am i ever going back to my original weight?!!
34. gwwn stephani.. gwen stephani… gwen stephani …..
35. i dont miss work at alllll
36. in fact, i am finally seriously thinking of leaving the job.
37. a better job, better salary, fresh new start!!
38. in a few weeks things will clear up on the new job, if yes.. or no
39. my immediate reaction up until 20 days post partum: how could women wanna have another baby??!!
40. but then the body does what it does best: heal…. and i feel its not that bad at all….
next post should be more about hajar persona.