How do you approach?
in the first days of my relationship with Ot, he emphasised that i need to approach him correctly. if i wanted something, if i am asking him whether he wants to dine in or out, and what food would he like.. if i wanted to go out… planning a trip abroad.. ya3ni i need to approach him right to get things going.. otherwise, it is going to be something like what happened today..
it may sound silly… but what i said was this: lazim tyeeb 7aleeb 7ag hajar, khllas 7aleebha.
he looked at me, and ignored me completely, i said it again.. and he replied: ma ne raye7.
i went to the room, revised my sentance again … what did i say that triggered his za3al??? the word : “lazim” he hates it.
also he hates it when i say :ma fahamt,
jad elbegar thour
i realise now when i write them down, it makes my husband sound extremely difficult, and that he is keeping me on the edge alot… that’s true, in this specific topic : “approach” he makes it a challange for me, a battle i fight in every word i utter.. to make sure it falls within his frame of tolerance. . .often i complain to Ot about this character in him, how he makes it such an important thing, ya3ni 3addi.. shilmishkilla.. 6awwif… he might do for a few but not all the time, from the outside, people view us as an easy couple, no big problems, happy, and attached.. all true, they also view my husband especially as too kind, too sweet, too caring, also all true… but then they would never know how much effort it takes to please him every day.
is that the marriage struggle?? i am better at the approach thing now then i was a year ago.. i am better at making up, because i have developed a strong intolerance to long speechless quarrels.
yesterday i was about to ask Ot to take his visiting family (his sister and her daughters visiting from ksa) outside.. he noticed i was about to ask him something… and i bet he knew what i was gonna ask… but before i do he said: deeri balich.. elesloob vyyvaa… elesloob.
wow… he makes me feel like i am retarded at this.. bs bt7ammal o abla3ha…
i kept thinking hard .. i want him to take them, and i dont want to shoot for trial two.. i want to succeed from first try…
” t3aref Oti? wa7ed min ajmal al a7asees 3indi inik tkoon mo mgasser ma3 ahalik belmarra… o adree inna hatha eshay feek o a7med rabbi 3ala hashai..wedi dowm ahalik ykoon eltop 3indihom inta..”
bulls eye…….. for the time being, and we went to the avenues. and had a blast later at dinner.