We read it in the magazines, but do we really see it in our houses? Do fathers stand up to their roles in parenting? I’ve read that the man feels left out with the first kid, and gets the go on the second… to my shock/luck, I found Ot in love with co-parenting, and engages almost to all hajar needs (and u must know what the one thing almost excludes!). in the morning, I go to work, take hajar to my mom, and in the afternoon I come back take her from mom, and leave her with Ot, so I can go to the club. In the evening we have that family time, and even arrange an outing or two… its amazing how time is much more fruitful since hajar came, we no longer sit hours with nothing to do. Now we rarely watch tv.. but its not because we’re too busy, its because we have more quality time with each other. i love how Ot insists that hajar goes every where with us, even when we plan a trip abroad, he includes her… I lived in a society where men do nothing more than spend a total of an hour with their kids when they are as young as hajar, Ot again manages to make me more in flames for him.
So my first confession for this session is this: I have a husband who lives up to his new title: dad.
I think of Kuwait as one big shopping mall with tons of stores to discover. There are days that I devote for payless shopping. Checking prices of clothes bags, shoes, and just go out empty handed.
But this is not my confession…
I enter a store, pick items, lots of items that I like, and on my way to pick another item I dump one from my shopping bag, I go through my stuff, and screen clear only the ‘ I really like this item’ stuff, I move further, looking at more stuff, not picking anything more, but closer to the cashier, I dump some more items to keep only the ‘ I really really must have this item’, I look at the cashier, its crowded… I dump the last item I have, and walkout empty handed.
When I pick items that I plan to buy, I have the money for it, I really want them, and I go to the dressing room to try them, I feel ‘relieved’ when they don’t fit, because it means I will buy less.
This is a very bad habit of mine that I need to quit, because I constantly feel deprived and lacking. But I blame it on the salary being packed with responsibilities. This is why a new job is a new chance to treat my self well.
True I have a husband who has a moral responsibility to support me (in every way) but then his salary is half as mine, and he already has to pay rent, fuel, phone, laundry, and grocery bills.
Every now and then, my mind gets stuck in the middle of a rally of ideas and thoughts… it’s hitting me now, and hitting me hard,
Anniversary day planning
Treating my self with a designer bag
Buying shoes, bags, clothes, basically a new wordrobe that would remove this constant: I don’t have any thing to wear- status I am in.
Starting a mini business
Planning debt pay before due date
Starting a saving account for our mini family
And when I say knowledge I don’t mean just a coffee table book, I mean hardcore, phd level kind of knowledge…pay attention to this, cause I’m constantly seeking knowledge.
Project in work
My hair cut needs an update ( I just had one last week, but it needs an update cause it sucks on me)
Perfecting a fish-dish
Having organized gatherings at my apartment, friends, family, 2nd degree family.. just keep the house alive..
I am bombarded.. I feel a bit trapped, there are thoughts that attack me, fill me with adrenaline, and they are phenomenal in their aspect, but the next idea/obsession takes the stand.