A situation in life: Marriage
One of my elementary school friends recently decided to leave the country to try getting pregnant some other place, she’s been trying for 5 years, and been through many medical trials, without success. I do hope she gets pregnant, not for the sake of her as much as for the sake of her husband…
You see, the last sentence I remember she said was: I want to live a love story, a passionate wild affair with unbelievable outcomes..
Clearly she is missing a lot of emotions in her current relationship with her husband, but it struck me so much because I too want to have this passionate love story. I too imagine this highly intellectual feature of a man to sweep me off my feet. But Ot exists in my life, not to stop me from having this affair, but to remind me of how much he deserves every inch of my body and soul, I don’t know if I wrote about this before, but when I read old scrapbooks I had and look at my idea of ideal man, Ot fits two or three from the list. He lacks in areas I find extremely attractive, yet he completes me, I can’t really explain it, I just know that I still feel a sort of relief every time he steps into the apartment from any outing he goes to without me. I’m that much attached, and that much I hope to stay.
The amazing thing about situations in life, and marriage is more or less can be called a situation, is that you see it more clearly when you look at it through other peoples eyes. When I go to family gatherings his presence seems stronger, and all the other women also. I feel the vibe of their husbands on them! There is this one woman in particular, I feel her husband’s vibe so loud that it scares me…. Because he is so much like me, he likes exactly the things that I like, and is good in exactly what I’m good at, and whenever he is around, he manages to impress me. At one point his wife embarrassed me and herself by saying it out loud: my husband loves you. I get distracted and think of him too much, but what I should concentrate on is his wife.. she is the central idea, the sun of that universe, I do like him, but only because he is so good with her despite the huge differences between them.
Dare I say I’m even afraid to think/suggest/imagine a world we exchange husbands, and see how it goes.
Suffice to say he wouldn’t be Ot.
And I am his woman,
both smart and weird,
clean and chaotic,
strict and different,
devoted and wild,
emotional and childish,
two and three personas,
moving on and mending the past,
impatient and hopeful,
in love and insane…