From work with Love
Today I walked out of a meeting (after it finished) feeling underappreciated. And I had a desire to look for a certain office that I can walk in and just say what I feel fresh out of the oven.
It wasn’t what was said in the meeting but more what wasn’t. The months following Ramadan has been rolling nonstop. Filled with exciting tasks and activities, up to the point that I not only feared the approach of the week’s end (which is normal for me) but significantly to disliking a business trip in a faraway spot. During this time, I have continued to have a multitasking approach on work, a habit without a doubt, but also even if I wanted to quit it, it is enforced on me by management approach to employee’s tasks.
But this particular month, I feel a steady flow of negative events, not one, not two, but a series…
- Gossip: to the management level, one supervisor mentioned I am gossiping negatively about him / never even worked with him to know who he is!
- Demotivation, I can ignore every co-workers comment, but I can not a hint of dryness from my supervisor.
- Discouragement and undermining of my work; one co-worker when I stressed on her we need to sit down so I can keep her up to speed on one project she has ignored. She yells at me that she is busy, and I tell her we all are… in which she replied: no one is as busy as I am!!
- Disregard: we have deadlines, commitments, connected chain of events, and if someone keeps missing the deadline, things are affected, but my constant strive to get them to keep the deadline is sometimes faced with disregard.
The reason that I had the urge to walk into a fresh office… just out there to whom I can speak to someone freely, and without having to explain who I am, or fear that my words will be twisted into something totally different… the reason I felt this just after the meeting was over because I felt that small hint of dryness from my supervisor, she loves me, she knows how good I am, she depends on me, but I just didn’t feel her support, didn’t feel her encouragement, we have been so busy during those three months, that I barely remember having a laugh with her, only meetings and deadlines and action items… I miss the time when I feel as soon as she leaves my office a sense of pride of me.
I love the job, I love the excitement of my job activities and tasks, I love my development, I also love to be appreciated.
I Can’t wait for the 22nd of December to be over.