Insatiable Appetite: The only love he knows
Isn’t it scary to realize I am the first love of someone, and even scarier to know I ended up being his wife?
My habit of blogging upon random instances is unfair to the display of my reality…I miss out on so many amazing moments, like for now he has become a muathin for the nearby mosque, and I really wanted to write a complete post about it. But missed my window, and was overwhelmed by other feelings.
This is probably the first time my husband has found a peaceful place to work and commit to.
I notice the small things, and I have noticed he is building as big as possible of a fortress around me, and protect me from anything outside our apartment. As gently as I can, I whisper to him in very distant hints this is affecting our relationship. He is making me suffocate with love, taking away a lot of the time that I need to see my mother freely, my friends, my relatives, my escape by myself, or with my kids. I cannot move anywhere without him there with me, I barely get a chance to break free, I must even consider going to work as my only outlet, not even going to my family counts, as he goes with me every time.
I’m taking one week off from work with the intention of filling his insatiable appetite, but I’m feeling the burn of captivity so soon. I picked the longest week, and I had so much that I wanted to do if I was not waking up every morning for work.
So far he refused that I go for a wedding, or do my social round, I don’t even want to ask for a mall trip, not because he will say no, but because I’m afraid it will be counted, and he will think of it as a significant amount of time apart from each other.