Pracitising Buddhism in marriage
in one of my past obsessions; i was addicted to religions; trying to learn all i can learn about dfifferent religions out there, i remember being struck by Buddhism in the sense that there are so much of it that would be a lifestyle than a religion. and in marriage; i can see both myself and Ot practice alot of buddhism; in the sense that we always remember where we are, how far we have drifted, how to go back, to be in the moment.
we’ve been having alot of jealousy issues, that today Ot told me he wouldnt mind being attached to me and do nothing but attend to me. this will seem romantic, but also suffocating, and more dangerously, it emphasises how much Ot is fixated on me only, instead of doing other things in his life. so today we had this heart to heart discussion, since we’ve been fighting every other day with issues like: him over-sleeping, forgtting to pick up hajar from bus, doing nothing but nothing for hours.
sometimes Ot is insanely amazing: like the time he went out specifically to bring me a sandwich while he was very comfortable and the last thing he wanted was to go out. and sometimes he’s beyond understanding irresponsible like switching his sleeping hours where he can do nothing of his chores.
i cant say im not sad in those fight days, but it takes me few hours to be mad, then the few hours after that i start to miss his voice, his kindness, his purity, his hugs, and i wanna apologize for him just so we can kiss and makeup.
never mad more than a day… thats the plan… i hope never mad ever ever…